Roasted Chicken with Bacon & Sweet Paprika – Fifty Shades of Chicken

Suddenly the fridge door I’m resting on swings open, and I find myself rolling off the shelf and falling toward the kitchen floor.  Crap.  My plastic wrapper bursts as I land, and my giblet bag slides halfway out.  Double crap.  Damn my cheap packaging.  Instantly I feel hands on me, lifting me carefully from the tiles.  Long, powerful fingers cradle me from underneath and expertly tuck my giblets back into place.  Holy cow.  Something clenches deep inside me.  My rescurer lays me gently on a countertop.  He’s wearing jeans and a clean white apron.  He’s young and handsome, with a rakish mop of hair.  He has muscled arms and clearly works out.  But it’s his hands that have me mesmerized.  They’re smooth, pale, perfectly manicured, and beyond competent.

The above passage was taken from the introduction of Fifty Shades of Chicken (a parody in a cookbook).  Friends of ours, Dale and Teena, gave me this book and when I read the name of the book I burst out laughing.  Although I’ve never read Fifty Shades of Grey (and have no desire to read) I was intrigued how the author, FL Fowler (pseudonym), could fashion a cookbook to that of sexual practices, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism.  After reading through it, poultry porn certainly comes to mind but it is a cookbook laced with very subjective thoughts and tongue-in-cheek humor.  The recipe I chose falls under the heading – Chicken with a Lardon – yep, read into what you will.

Serves 4
adapted from Fifty Shades of Chicken

1 orange
1 tablespoon sweet paprika
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse sea salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon olive oil
3 1/2 to 4 lb. chicken
6 or more strips of bacon

Preheat oven to 400f.  Finely grate the zest of the orange into a bowl.  Stir in paprika, salt and pepper.   Massage the oil all over the skin of the chicken.  Sprinkle some of the paprika mixture into the cavity; massage the remaining mixture all over the bird.  Cut the orange into quarters and thrust the fruit deep into the cavity of the bird.

Move the chicken to a rack set over a roasting pan.  Roast for 45 minutes, basting with any pan juices.  Crisscross the bacon over the breasts and continue to roast until the chicken is cooked through and bacon is crisp – about 20 minutes.  Let rest 10 minutes before carving.

The Culinary Chase’s Note:  Great flavors with the combination of paprika and orange.  An easy way to test whether or not the chicken is cooked is to wiggle the drumstick.  If it feels as though it will easily come away from the side, it’s cooked.  Enjoy!

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  2. […] Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook is obviously a parody, but it’s still a real cookbook. The prose that accompanies the chicken recipes is written in the style of the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, and the recipes are quite seductively-named. If you happen to have someone on your Christmas gift list that cooks and also got a kick out of the original novel (which could be a large crossover population), they will appreciate both the humor and the recipes. First they will laugh, then they will cook. Check out a sample recipe here. […]